Recently, I've heard a lot of negativity...not gossip or world news...its been in the form of personal insecurities. I'm sure it is always around me but for some reason I've honed into it as of lately. I've heard everything from nonchalant comments about being too fat and needing to workout, to people depriving themselves that last cookie because they want to be 'good', all the way to a wonderful young mother feeling completely down and disappointed with herself.
Why do we think and talk so badly about ourselves? Whether it is regarding appearance, ability, personality...why do we so harshly judge ourselves? I do it...my friends, family, and co-workers do it...but are we all that insecure? I'm trying to source this trend of self-deprecation...and when I find it, I'm going to kick it in the shins and tell it to leave my friends and family alone!!
I can always blame society...(man that society is blamed for everything, huh?). With tv specials like the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show where woman who are bone thin but somehow can still fill a DD bra, flaunt their flawless, un-photoshop'd bodies. And for the record, you are crazy, Adriana Lima..really 8 weeks after you gave birth you looked like THAT? How are real woman supposed to compete with people like you? I'm not a mom yet, but I can't imagine the pressure this puts on REAL woman, who don't have trainers and nannies, and endless hours a day to spend at the gym. I know...it's her job..yadda yadda yadda...and still, like many other woman out there, I own a few swimsuits, pjs, bras, and undies from VS. I totally buy into it...
Another place that may bring on bad mouthing ourselves? Fashion magazines...Don't get me wrong, I LOVE them. I love the ads, the articles, the color and photography...the excitement I get when I see that extra large September issue of Vogue crammed into my tiny apartment mailbox...But all you need to do is flip through one to look at the unnaturally thin models and the expensive 'must haves' of the season. If I really owned all of the 'must haves' of the season, I wouldn't be able to afford the other, more common, 'must haves' in life...like food and shelter. But I subscribe to it...I like seeing whats new and trending.
We also have shows like Fashion Police (which I love...) that might be fun to watch after an awards show to see the pretty dresses but it also tears apart people who don't have the same fashion taste or sense that the hosts have. But I buy into it!!! "Oh yes, I agree with you Joan Rivers, that dress was a tragic mistake..."
And then I catch myself...I'm judging others. So obviously, they are judging me, right?
Odds are, they are too busy judging themselves and worrying what you think of them to worry about you...if that makes sense.
As I'm writing this, I'm realizing that the magazines and tv shows are not going away. Honestly, I like my magazines and don't want them to go away...They are not going to change, at least for a long time so we need to change how we take in what they are throwing at us.
Maybe the solution to our insecurity problem is to separate our own personal feelings from what is being projected onto us. We should all stop comparing ourselves to the Kate Moss' and Heidi Klum's out there and focus on what is good for us personally...we should live up to our own personal standards and meet our own personal goals. Maybe we can all learn to be content with who we are in our own skin. As long as we are active and healthy...does it matter if we can fit into those size 4, 8, or 12 jeans? We need to learn to be ok with ourselves, love ourselves, how we are today...not how we think we will feel if we buy that expensive bag or brand name pair of shoes or if we lost 20 lbs or had rock solid Daniel Craig abs.
Life is too short to let all of these insecurities stunt our happiness. When you are taking your last breath...are you really going to be thinking 'Man, if I could have only lost those last 10 lbs and bought those Jimmy Choo's, my life would have been perfect.'
I doubt it.
Insightful and well said. We have individual value and worth that far outweighs the superficial values often around. You are a wise, caring a beautiful woman. Naomi
ReplyDeleteJust now catching up on all my blogs that I follow I have to agree with you Savannah. And as a young mother feeling down on herself for gaining 20+ lbs during her last pregnancy I appriciate your post. For me, it isn't the public that I see it is not wanting to be embarrassed of my body when running after my soon to be 3 year old at the pool this summer. I don't want to be stick thin like those models. I want to be so buff people wonder how I have time to lift all that weight and how I look so good in that bathing suit having two small kids. But I do applaud you for standing on that soap box as you are right, too many people dont' love themselves and want to be someone that they aren't.
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