Home

As our plane lifted off the ground and into the cold Kansas City sky, it began to softly snow...we were heading home to Seattle, after being back home for Christmas. Ingrid Michaelson's version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow started playing on my iPod about an hour into the flight and I had to hold back the tears. I already missed everyone. To some it may sound a tad cheesy...but that song, preformed by any artist, has become one I go to when I want to be reminded of home, of where I came from, of my family and friends...of Kansas. Along with the memories, come bittersweet feelings of leaving it behind again intertwined with those of moving forward and growing. Not growing out or away, but growing into oneself as a person, an individual.

home : seattle
Erik and I have been in Seattle for four and half years now and we both love it here. The weather, despite what people may say, is not that bad...it rarely gets above 90 degrees or below 32 degrees. Once the sun shines, it shines bright and beautiful. Almost every summer day is like that perfect 75 to 80 degree day that might show up in Kansas in April or May. There is so much to do...so much we still need to do! There are more outdoor activities than I can name and so many restaurants and concerts, its hard to keep up. There's so much to take in that at times it can be a little overwhelming....but exciting. There is still such a feeling of newness and change here. It always feels fresh and full of life, movement, growth and opportunity.  To quote the great Jimmy Buffett (who, many may know, is a family favorite)-

"River gets deeper not shallow, the further you move down the stream, wonderin if I can keep her

As I race to catch up with my dreams, how they shine and glitter and gleam"

back home : kansas
When I'm back in Kansas, no matter how frigid the temperature outside, it always feels comfortable and cozy, like home should feel. My parent's house hasn't changed a whole lot...a kitchen remodel, some paint in the bedrooms...but it still feels the same. It is still the place where we can act like little kids around Christmas, even though some of us (Erik and Adam) are closing in on 30 years old. Its a place we can let our guard down, we can cry, we can laugh, we can hug, snuggle up, say something dumb...and no one will judge you, no one will care...because they care so much. 

The longer we are away, the more nostalgic it feels going back...the trips back are fast and furious, so we fill the time with little sleep and lots of joking and laughing and story telling. Sometimes I have to pull myself back to the ground to remind myself that not everyday is Christmas...the whole family doesn't get together for large home-cooked dinners and gifts every weekend. I have to let the reality set back in...it isn't like this all the time. It isn't like this a majority of the time...that's what makes our visits so special. Everyone has a real life to live too, with real jobs and real stress. But for that little bit of time...we can forget everything and just enjoy each other.

The older I become, and the closer we get to someday starting our own family, the more I hope Erik and I can create that same sense of home and sense of place for our children. How does one create that sense of home? How do you make sure that sense of security is there? How do you create a home base? As sad as it would be, if my parents ever decided to move from the house in which so many memories were created, my childhood home, I know that its not the house.

It's the unconditional support, the trust, the love...the people.

And that's how I know we and our future kids will be ok...wherever we might end up.

view from my parents attic, while wrapping presents- 12.23.12