Sunday, March 18, 2012

A Creative Drought...

I've recently realized that this time of year does not inspire me. Looking back over the last couple years, I've noticed a growing trend of the late winter/early spring blues. Maybe it coincides with our move to the Pacific Northwest, where the warm sunshine doesn't make its debut until July. Or maybe its around this time when New Year's Resolutions have lost their steam and that half marathon you promised yourself you would run in June is approaching much faster than you thought it would...On top of the weather and the running (or lack of), it is my birthday at the end of the month...the big 2-8. The older I get, the more I find myself questioning everything I did or didn't do during the previous year. Does this happen to anyone else? I remember going through a similar phase last year and the year before. I always break free, usually more energized and motivated, but right now I'm in the thick of self-doubt. 

I know I'm only going to be 28 and to a lot of family, friends, and co-workers, that sounds silly. I'm still in my twenties, Erik and I are still young, healthy, we are kid-free, we live in the city and we just moved into a great place...I appreciate all of these things and they are NOT what I'm questioning. I spend much of March dwelling on my creative endeavors. With another year flying by, I start to over analyze...did I do enough with my Etsy shop, did I work hard enough on my weaving and sewing, did I promote my work enough, did I work on my print design enough, did I learn enough, did I read enough....its a whirlwind of questions and right now, the answer to all of them is 'No, I could have done more.' 

When I look back and not forward, I get stuck in some sort of creative slump. Usually, I can't get things finished fast enough because I have the next project or idea in mind. I had a nice cycle going...when I had something to work on, I had something to blog about. Right now, though, I'm not inspired or motivated and I'm feeling overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time. Its funny that with all this Northwest rain, I'm having such a creative drought!   

I'll push through it though...I have too. I'm not sure how much more of my complaining Erik and my Mom can handle! Bear with me, I'll have more projects to share soon. 

For now, I'm going to take an extra dose of Vitamin D and jump on a treadmill.